USE METAPHORS IN A SPEECH

A well-deployed metaphor is a branding iron. Deployed effectively it can imprint a lasting impression in a listeners mind. It makes the message clearer, interesting and remarkable. But that is not all. What I like most about a metaphor is that it gives two stories for the price of one.

In the speech below, +Japheth Musau is discussing money issues. I found relating money to a spider extremely ingenious. It reduces a potentially boring money talk into an enjoyable narration. Alternately a boring scientific lecture is turned to an easy listening self-improvement elocution.

DANCE OR DIE

(By +Japheth Musau, +Kwanza Kenya Toastmasters club, for project 6 in the CC manual)

Dance or die! One mistake and he is dead meat! Literally!

When the male of the BlackWidow spider wants to mate, he has to dance for his prospect. This dance must be done right, with utmost dexterity and executed with the precision of a Swiss watch. Otherwise, the female will strike, kill and consume him instantly!

Fellow Toastmasters and welcomed guests money is like the female Black Widow Spider. If you don’t treat it right, it will crush your soul and pierce it with many sorrows and untold misery!

On the other hand, practising and using these money dance moves correctly will enable you to attract, multiply and protect the money that comes your way.

1.     Learn and use the right money vocabulary. The male black widow spider must dance not only to survive but also to achieve his divine mission. Dancing is hard enough when you have two left feet. The spider has eight! Yet he has to send the correct vibes to the prospective mate. The male spider initiates communication through the web by generating sporadic low-frequency vibrations. When this signalling is done right the ‘black widow’ sends back similar low-frequency vibrations. An elaborate exchange of courtship vibes ensues. The dance for survival slowly turns into a love dance.

Similarly, to court money use the correct money words. In the delicate web of finance, words have potent power. Profit! Capital gains! Break even! Bankruptcy, Risk, loss. These words are not the privilege or private property of accountants like Joseph (referring to +Joseph Muga our VPE) or bankers like myself. We all should learn these and other money words. According to money expert +Robert Kiyosaki, money is an idea. The greater your money vocabulary the more ideas you will have on how to make, multiply and protect your money.

2.     Instigate a total overhaul of your philosophy or attitude towards money. When the male black widow spider enters the domain of his prospect he must maintain the right attitude. Any signs of panic, hesitation or unbridled greed will have him dead in a flash. He must send constant vibes in a cool, calm and collected manner. He must focus on his goal without allowing the emotions such fear, haste and greed to drive him. Friends, you must have a clear reason for wanting money. Money is a tool whose purpose should be to help you achieve your lofty goals. If you allow fear or greed to drive you, you will soon find yourself marooned in a financial desert where you will starve and choke in the dust of your own gluttony. Be emotionally intelligent.

If you have a good command of the money language and have the right attitude towards wealth, you will attract, multiply and keep money that comes your way. Trillions of shillings circle the earth every day looking for a home. Like the black widow, they are listening out for the correct vibrations and looking for the right attitudes.

Will your dance moves make money eat you alive or choose you for a home?

If it does, will it be comfortable enough to stay?

Toastmasters Speech Number 6 (vocal variety) – When a Deal is Too Good

I am struggling with my second attempt at the CC10 project. For sure, it would have been easier for me to inflate a sisal gunny bag than tackling this project. It is like milking a he-goat. The vocal variety is sounding like an attempt to use a vuvuzela as a trumpet. Maybe the culprit is my CC6 (vocal variety) that I post below.

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CC6 – When a deal is too good

Listen, am telling you this because you are my friends. Some quarter acre plots next to the defence college at Karen are selling at only two million kenya shillings. I know the seller and I can link you up.

Owning a piece of land is most a Kenyan’s vision. Vision without action is a merely a dream. Therefore, we work as hard as mules, toiling day and night, from cockcrow to long after sunset, year in year out and deny ourselves luxuries in the hope of saving just enough to purchase a plot.

Any plot even if at Athi River where the black soil looks like fine tarmac during the sunny season but is a rut with the first drops of rain and therefore one requires either competent wading skills or a canoe.

Jokes aside, the idea is good and the returns can be fulfilling. However the process is replete with pitfalls and snares. Matters are not made easier by our despicable man eat man culture. There are swindlers, bilkers and leeches out there who can smell the money in your pocket better than a shark a drop of blood in the ocean. One blink, just one and your savings evaporate into thin air.

So how do you go about it without burning, your already sore fingers?

For starters follow the law society regulations to the letter. After identifying an interesting piece, the next step should be to ascertain ownership. This is primarily done by talking to the neighbours. They are likely to know the owner or to know of any conflicts associated with the property. However, this is not sufficient proof. You need something written; something official; the official search certificate. The search certificate is got at the local lands office and it confirms the registered owner and lists any restrictions on the property. If the searching officers say that they cannot get the green card it doesn't mean that they won’t make it to American. No. It means one of two things or both either, the deal is shady or you need to do what needs to be done when a civil servant cannot find a file. I recommend you drop the deal at this point like a hot potato.

Next one needs to enter into a sale agreement. In particular make sure the agreement covers terms of payment, plus the vendor and purchaser responsibility. For this use a reputable and honest lawyer. They are many despite 99% of them spoiling for the others. Get one who can ask a learned question, preferable with foreign accent such as

“mr. so so, please answer yes or no, isn’t it so that when the a person dies in his sleep he does not get to know about it until the following morning?”.

Seriously though, use a conveyance lawyer.

Another thing, if the land is subject to land control board, don’t evade it. The land board is like a local council of elders that grants a specific entity authority to transfer land to another definite entity. Ideally it should be chaired the District Commissioner. But the DC delegates the authority to the DO who in turn has delegated to madam Wavy. According to the government, the service is free. But nonetheless Madam Wavy whom, it is rumored inspired the Michelin man, demands a token fee for the wazee that sets you back a couple of thousands.

In a nutshell,

1.    Confirm the details -  if  they are too good to be true, they are.

2.    Use a conveyance lawyer - Don’t be penny wise and pound foolish.

3.    Don’t take short cuts, they will cut your slyness to size.

Remember fellow toastmaster

When the deal is too good think twice? Wrong. Don’t even think about it

Toastmaster