This was my attempt.
A Stitch In Time
You will hang by the neck until confirmed dead!
Those unfortunate courtroom words
got me wondering whether something or anything could have saved Stanley.
The
first time we realised something is wrong we were in college. Stanley attempted
to fling his roommate over a fourth floor balcony. There were other incidents similar
in nature and magnitude, but the more we reprimanded him the more defensive and
abusive he became, and oh! could he deliver original invectives! Scathing tirades
that would make your most vulgar matatu tout cringe in shame. Ultimately things
came to a head when our thesaurus of four-letter words started unleashing a flick
knife at the slightest provocation. We avoided his company completely.
Now
in his forties, Stanley has been to every other police station in the city - from Eastlands to Westlands, Madaraka to Makadara - he still sees devils
under every bed and ghosts behind every shadow. Recently
he was in the news after drowning his wife in a Kitchen sink for what in his
warped mind was a plan to poison him. On the fateful Saturday he had found chicken
wings dipped in a yellowish fluid. As it turned out the chicken wings were
being marinated as lunch for an upcoming ladies meeting.
With hind sight, I now know that Stanley suffers from paranoid
personality disorder. Abbreviated PPD, Paranoid Personality Disorder is a
thinking condition that makes
people with it continually distrust others. As man thinketh so is he hence, the
thinking of people with PPD severely interferes with their association with
others. When Stanley started carrying a knife he lost good friends; leaving him as lonely as a leper.
Perhaps if someone had been wiser, Stanley’s wife would not be up there singing
hymns and reciting psalms among white winged angels while Stanley cools white porridge
at Kamĩtĩ maximum security prison. I therefore paraphrase the Biblical prophet Hosea
and declare that “no longer will my people perish for lack of knowledge” and
bring you three hints towards identifying a PPD.
Firstly,
When it comes to holding grudges, PPDs
have an elephant’s memory. As such they can avenge or sue for purported wrongs
that happened donkey years in the past. Stanley is no different. That is why he
has been to most police stations. When he is not there as a guest of the state,
due to assault, he is trying to make one out of someone else.
In the balcony saga, investigations
revealed that the grudge was his roommate’s association with someone Stanley had
fought with way back while in form three.
Secondly
PPDs handle criticism
dismally. For example, Stanley was short and thin so that his carelessly chosen clothes, clothes
that had seen better days hanging at the sunshine boutique were always baggy, shaggy
and Shabby, almost as if they hung on a tailors dummy made of wire. And because
he shaved a boxlike hair style, it appeared as though the box on his head was weighing
down on his frail frame thus exaggerating his slouch. But oh no! to advise him to style-up was a no go
zone, unless of course you desired your ego adjusted downwards significantly .
Thirdly
PPDs have a constant suspicions that their lovers are cheating on them.
That is how the simple task of marinating chicken turned tragic. In court Stanley’s
mitigation was that, his wife was planning his demise to pave way for a secret
lover.
So, next time you notice someone who is overly vindictive, defensive and
suspicious, take early precaution, caution and action. You never know, a Stitch
in time might save nine.
Toastmaster
